How I reclaimed my reader identity last year

and TBR books I'm looking forward to

Shade Cactus is a subscriber-supported newsletter of habitual travel adventures, poetry, and other lovely ways to appreciate the aesthetic. Cool kids subscribe. I appreciate you!

First book of the year

Only a week into the new year, I already had to tear myself away from reading to write this post.

This isn’t necessarily a new way of being for me, having grown up as the kid who always brought at least two books everywhere I went (just in case) and proudly wore the mother-bestowed title of Voracious Reader.

But this past year saw a coming home to that little girl’s wonder of reading. As social media became more prevalent and the computer became not only an incredible tool but also a necessary one, this late ‘90s kid was swept away into the online world. Or, to put it more plainly, I cultivated a low-level addiction to technology and social media.

For the past decade or two, my love of reading still resided in my heart. But it was the actual act of it that eluded me, my eye drawn to the iPhone next to me. Before I knew it, I’d not only opened Instagram but then spent an hour scrolling through content, my book forgotten.

This continual pull of attention not only kept me from finishing books but even starting them. I had created this belief that I no longer finished books, so what was the point in starting them?

Raise your hand if you anticipated the topic of “habits”

Several of my recent posts (like this one, this one, and this one) all reference how I’ve brought more aesthetics and joy to my life while cultivating habits.

Habits and the idea of optimizing them can have a sterile reputation. But reading Atomic Habits by James Clear helped me to completely transform how I move through life. Habits are not morally good or bad; they’re simply the product of systems and environments. And while, yes, that can also feel a bit stale, I’ve learned that it’s anything but.

Setting up my environment to support my reading practice has looked like taking a trip to the bookstore and making a solo date of it. It looks like redesigning my bedroom, so I read first thing in the morning while I watch the sunrise outside my window. The environment that supports my reading habit has also lent itself to supporting my writing habit (for example, what you’re reading now!)

Habits support me in earnestly cultivating and appreciating the aesthetic of my life.

How to Be Alone by Nic Antoinette, read last October

5 ideas to reclaim your reader identity

These are a few of the ways I have created a life where I read every single day — some days it’s a couple of chapters, and some days it’s only a couple of pages. And then there are days like the first snowfall of the year when I spend the day cuddling with my dog, listening to the YouTube fireplace channel, and reading for hours upon hours. No phone in sight.

As Clear says, each action you take for your habit is a vote for the identity you want to have. A reader reads, whether for 2 hours or two minutes.

1. Morning reading

Before getting out of bed in the morning, read. It’s so simple, but it works. I would always promise myself that I would read before bed, but then I’d be too tired or binging a YouTube channel, and I couldn’t bring myself to read. Now, when I wake up in the morning, I turn on my lamp and read before anything else. Again, even if it’s only 1 page, it’s still reading.

(A bonus from this habit is that it sparks inspiration for my subsequent morning pages, giving me more to write about than “I’m tired and trying to wake up.”)

2. Romanticize the TBR shelf

Analysis paralysis, heard of her? I have lots of books in my house I’ve never read, intending to read them someday. But then my eyes would anxiously dart from spine to spine while I attempted to pick the “right” book to read next. Then, I’d walk away and leave them to continue to exist on my shelves, unread.

Now, I make a spectacle of it. The headboard of my bed houses my TBR list so as soon as I finish one, I move on to the next, with some artwork and crystals for decor. There’s no hemming or hawing; it’s just the system — a beautiful system where I can fully enjoy the book I’m reading while looking forward to the next.

(And, of course, if there’s a book that I decide I have to read right then, out of order, I can. Duh, it’s my list!)

3. ScreenZen to moderate social media

Game-changer! I’ve learned about myself that I am a moderator, not an abstainer. When I tell myself I’m just going to ditch social media completely, I don’t last too long. There is genuine joy and value I gain from social media (like videos from Good Boy Ollie). It’s not all bad. But I do also recognize that moderating it has improved my mental health and the control it has over my life and screen time.

I started using ScreenZen to gamify my Instagram usage (my social media vice of choice). Rather than block the app completely, it simply asks me when I try to open it, “Is this important?” If it is, great. If it’s not, I close it and keep my streak. And then pick up a book instead.

4. Allow myself to buy books

In past years, I had mostly avoided buying books because I felt guilty buying new ones when I own so many that I haven’t read yet. Then, I read this quote:

“It is foolish to think that you have to read all the books you buy, as it is foolish to criticize those who buy more books than they will ever be able to read.” — Umberto Eco

Plus, I get to support my local bookstore, a mere quarter of a mile away from my house. Penni (my dog and best friend) and I like to walk there to visit her friends, the booksellers, while I find a couple of new books to add to my home.

5. Substack app (controversial)

This one isn’t for books, but of course, Substack is reading, too! The use of the Substack app can be controversial because it could simply replace the use of other social media apps on my phone. (There are pros and cons to this.) As with everything, I have to assess how it’s serving me and if it’s not. Right now, it is, because I read articles I had saved the day before that I didn’t have time to read at that moment while I drink my morning coffee.

Bonus: physical updates to environment (move furniture)

When I reflected on my year of the Aesthetic, I shared how physically rearranging my room supported my reading habit (and just made me a happier person). There are tweaks that can be used as tools. Reach for your phone first thing in the morning? Leave it in the other room the night before so when you reach for it by your bed, you grab a book instead. If you’re like me, it was easy to stay in the dark in the morning because my bed was across the room from my windows. Now, I open them without even getting out of from under the covers since we moved the bed to sit beneath the windows, so I can watch the sunrise while I read.

A few more of last year’s reads (bought for my birthday!)

Books I’m looking forward to

The TBR list is ripe and ready for morning reading this winter! I’ll share in an upcoming Monthly Scroll what books I read in January, but here are some titles I’m looking forward to:

Fiction

• Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

• What the River Knows by Isabel Ibañez

Nonfiction

• Burnout by

  Emily Nagoski

• Wintering by

  Katherine May

• The Grail by Brian Doyle

Poetry

• Bestiary by Donika Kelly

• Ariel by Sylvia Plath

• Rose by Li-Young Lee

Have you read any of these books? Are you adding any of them to your own TBR list? I’d love to add some to my list: comment your recommendations!

---

If you’re new here…

Hi! I’m Jordan, and Shade Cactus is where being a homebody and always planning your next travel adventure come to meet. It’s a travel blog / poetry newsletter / attempt to understand my inner world a bit better each day.

Subscribers can expect weekly-ish newsletters from me (and my forever undying gratitude!)

You might also like…

Year's worth of life advice for writers (and everyone else)

A reflection on my year of the Aesthetic

As an Enneagram 7, I'm burning out