The salesman says this is the best computer for creating [content]

a poem about loss, kind of

Jun 18, 2025

The salesman says this is the best computer for creating [content]

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Laid off from a job of eight

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years, I get a new computer. An expensive

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necessity to smoke out some hope.

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But it’s also making me lose my mind.

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The fancy ass camera, in its attempt

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to show me in my best light, follows

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me everywhere, an ethereal spread

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of the thumb and forefinger. A digital

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wherever I go, there I am.

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The French word for computer is ordinateur,

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as if this commonplace machine can somehow

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bring order back to my life.

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Is that what I want? To be ordinary?

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With my own forefinger, I coax

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it open, seeking fortune of relevant

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and useful, a fabricated, professional

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face reflected.

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I’ve Googled, polled people, and short

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of begging a wise man atop a mountain,

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I’ve tried everything to still the camera in place.

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Please. Can’t I be still?

If you’re new here…

Hi! I’m Jordan, and Shade Cactus is where being a cozy homebody and always planning your next travel adventure come to meet. Here, you’ll marvel the mundane and wish for your wild, while reveling in rest.

You’ll learn about how to support your habitual travel adventures alongside your happy home base (even the one inside your own head). Cool kids subscribe. I appreciate you!